10 First Date Killers That’ll Guarantee You Don’t Get a Second One

Brought to you by Eligible — where real connection means not monologuing about your ex over tacos.

First dates are already a little weird. You’re trying to vibe with a stranger while making sure there’s no spinach in your teeth and pretending you totally know how to pronounce "charcuterie."

But some behaviors? They go beyond awkward—they’re straight-up date destroyers.

Here are 10 first date killers backed by stats (and maybe your own memories) that’ll sink your second-date chances faster than a bad Tinder opener.

1. Talking About Your Ex… Like, A Lot

Stat: 71% of singles say discussing an ex too much is their #1 first date red flag (Match.com).
Translation: This isn’t therapy. If your ex is a main character in your dinner conversation, you're not ready to date—you’re just outsourcing your closure.

2. Making It a One-Person Podcast

Stat: According to Psychology Today, 62% of people say poor conversational balance ruins a date.
Tip: Ask questions. Listen. Then respond like a human, not a TED Talk.

3. Glued to Your Phone

Stat: 75% of daters say checking your phone during a date is a dealbreaker (eHarmony).
Reality: Unless your grandma is mid-surgery or Beyoncé is calling, put it away. Being present is the new sexy.

4. Oversharing Personal Trauma (a.k.a. Emotional Speedrunning)

Stat: 58% of people say sharing “too much too soon” makes them feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed (Plenty of Fish survey).
Rule: Vulnerability is great. Trauma-dumping over cocktails? Maybe wait for date three.

5. Being Negative or Complaining

Stat: Negative energy ranks in the top 5 turn-offs in first date research by Zoosk.
Fix: Vent to your group chat, not your date. No one’s into a human Yelp review.

6. Overdoing It on Alcohol

Stat: 61% of singles say getting drunk on a first date is an automatic no (Match Singles in America study).
ICYMI: Confidence is good. Slurring the dessert menu is not.

7. Showing Up Looking... Unbothered

Stat: 70% of people say they’d cancel a second date if someone showed up looking “lazy or disheveled” (YouGov).
Note: Effort shows respect. Clean, well-fitted clothes > that hoodie from 2013.

8. Being Weird About the Check

Stat: 64% say the way someone handles the bill affects their decision about a second date (Elite Singles).
Solution: Be gracious. Offer to split. Don’t argue. Don’t make it a TED Talk on gender economics.

9. Saying “I Usually Don’t Date People Like You”

Stat: Unquantifiable, but universally cringey.
Why it fails: It’s not a compliment. It’s just weird. Next.

10. Coming Off Arrogant or Performative

Stat: Confidence is attractive, but 84% of singles say arrogance is an instant dealbreaker (eHarmony).
Bottom line: Be proud, not preachy. Humble wins the vibe war every time.

 

 

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